Obama Jokes By Comedians Here, you'll find a sampling of Obama jokes by comedians, ranging from famous (e.g., the late-night TV guys) to obscure (who may become less obscure when they are featured here). We plan to update this page often with fresh material — but only if the jokes are good! From "Conan", January 23, 2012:
Today, the Stanley Cup champion Boston Bruins
visited the White House. President Obama told them he loves hockey as much as any black guy who grew up in
Indonesia.
From "Late Night with Jay Leno", January 19, 2012:
Obama's a big environmentalist. In fact, for the
election, he plans to recycle the same promises he made four years ago.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", January 17, 2012:
President Obama will be going to Disney World,
where he'll unveil his new plan to create jobs. And what better place for the president to talk about his
jobs plan than Fantasyland?
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", December 16, 2011:
President Obama now says he didn't know how bad
the economy was when he took office. And if it doesn't improve soon, that's what the next president is
going to be saying.
From "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson", December 7, 2011:
[Rod Blagojevich] was convicted of trying to sell
Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat. If he had waited a few years, he could probably sell it back to Barack
Obama.
From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", November 21, 2011:
President Obama came home after a nine-day trip
to Asia. He got to see some stuff he never sees at home ... like jobs.
From "Late Show with David Letterman", November 15, 2011:
The Republican candidates have really been
shooting themselves in the foot, just making huge and horrible gaffes, they just look silly. And it’s
gotten so bad, President Obama is now worried he may actually be reelected.
From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", November 3, 2011:
President Obama just went to the G20 summit to
give Europe advice on its debt crisis. Wait, Europe's getting economic advice from Obama? That's like J. Lo
getting marriage advice from Kim Kardashian.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", October 31, 2011:
President Obama invited trick-or-treaters to the
White House ... and they had a very scary party. They sat in a circle, turned off all the lights and the
kids read the president his poll numbers.
From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon", October 27, 2011:
President Obama just announced a new student loan
plan that will forgive debt after 20 years. Obama said that forgiving debt is the most honorable thing
someone can do. And then he repeated that in Chinese.
From "Conan", October 18, 2011:
Yesterday, President Obama's TelePrompTer was
stolen. Police are on the lookout for a thief that's eloquent and spreading a message of
hope.
From "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson", October 3, 2011:
Happy anniversary to President Obama and the
first lady. They had a nice private dinner to celebrate the 19th anniversary of the last time someone said
yes to an Obama proposal.
From "Jimmy Kimmel Live," April 29, 2011:
These people could have personally witnessed Obama being born out of an apple pie, in the
middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the national anthem — and they'd still think he
was a Kenyan Muslim.
From "Conan," April 14, 2011:
President Obama is slated to appear on one of Oprah's last shows. He's hoping it's the
one on which she gives away 14 trillion
dollars.
From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," June 7, 2010:
Today, President Obama spoke at Kalamazoo's Central High School graduation ceremony in
Michigan. He told the students they could be anything they want to be, but if they could be oil leak
experts, that would be great.
From "Jimmy Kimmel Live," April 19, 2010:
President Obama said he hopes the volcano will stop smoking soon, and the volcano said the
same thing about him.
From "The Late Show with David Letterman," April 2, 2010:
President Obama filled out his census. I felt bad for the guy. Like he needs another reminder
that he lives with his mother-in-law.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 10, 2010:
Earlier today, the president of Haiti was at the White House to meet with President Obama. He
said the people of his country need jobs, they need places to live, and they need health care. And
then the president of Haiti spoke.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 5, 2010:
Just two days after being told by his doctors to cut down on his cholesterol, President Obama
visited a restaurant in Savannah, Georgia, where he ate a meal which included fried chicken, sweet
potatoes, macaroni and cheese, cream corn, biscuits, corn bread, barbecue pork, and blueberry
pudding. That's why he's in favor of healthcare. He's going to need
it.
From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," February 5, 2010:
On the "Today" show this morning, Michelle Obama said she likes having her mother live at the
White House because she helps take care of Sasha and Malia. And Barack Obama said he likes having his
mother-in-law living at the White House because he has to say
that.
From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," December 18, 2009:
On Fox News yesterday, White House senior advisor David Axelrod said that President Obama
hasn't given up on achieving something valuable in Copenhagen [at the U.N. Climate Change
Conference]. In one year, we've gone from "Yes we can" to "We haven't totally given
up."
From "Jimmy Kimmel Live," December 17, 2009:
It's hard to believe there's only two weeks left in 2009. President Obama is already said to
be hard at work on his New Year's resolutions. His plan for 2010 is to do all the things he said he
was going to do
this year.
From "The Jay Leno Show," December 3, 2009:
I'm trying to sum up President Obama's first eleven months in office. He gave billions to
Wall Street, cracked down on illegal immigrants getting health care, and he's sending 30,000 more
troops to Afghanistan. You know something? He may go down in history as our greatest Republican
president ever.
From "The Jay Leno Show," November 12, 2009:
President Obama's approval rating is down to 46 percent. That means 54 percent of the people
do not approve of the job he's doing, which I think is totally unfair. We should at least wait until
he actually does something.
From "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien," October 15, 2009:
One of the top-selling costumes this Halloween is a vampire version of President Obama called
Barackula. Not so popular: Congressman Barney
Frankenstein.
From "The Jay Leno Show," October 14, 2009:
The Fox News White House correspondent, a man named Major Garrett, has the swine flu.
President Obama has ordered Fox News quarantined for up to five years — as long as it
takes!
From "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien," October 12, 2009:
Earlier today, the Nobel Prize for Economics was awarded to a woman for the first time ever.
So congratulations, Michelle Obama.
From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," October 12, 2009:
Yesterday morning, Pope Benedict named five new saints to the Catholic Church, though some
are questioning whether Obama really deserved
it.
From "The Jay Leno Show," October 8, 2009:
The big question now, with the troops in Afghanistan, is how soon can we expect a decision
from President Obama on this troop thing? We've been waiting, but I don't think it's going to happen
any time soon. Remember, it took him five months to decide on a
puppy.
From "The Jay Leno Show," October 8, 2009:
Here is an example of how quickly things can turn around. According to a recent poll,
President Obama's approval rating in California has dropped. In fact, among Hollywood celebrities, it
is now down to just 99 percent.
From "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien," September 5, 2009:
Next Tuesday, President Obama plans to make a televised speech to the nation's students
during school hours. Many Republicans are planning to keep their kids home from school in protest. As
a result, those kids have voted Obama "Best President
Ever."
From "The Late Show with David Letterman," August 26, 2009:
The Obamas are taking a vacation on Martha's Vineyard. ... And people on Martha's Vineyard
are going crazy and they're buying Obama t-shirts, they're buying Obama mugs, they're buying Obama
caps. The only thing they're not buying is
Obama' s health-care plan.
From "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," August 5, 2009:
I
want to say happy birthday today to Barack Obama. The president just turned 48 years old —
if he was ever really born, that is. ... But Obama's birthday is a reminder of why health care is so
important. As you probably know, due to a lack of health care coverage, Obama's mother was turned
away from a number of hospitals and was ultimately forced to give birth in a
manger.
From "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien," July 31, 2009: Conservatives are criticizing Time magazine because they put President Obama on the cover for the 12th time in the last year. Not only that — every week since Obama was elected, he's been on the cover of Black President Magazine.
From "The Late Show with David
Letterman," July 24,
2009:
Anybody see President Obama's press conference last night on television about the health plan?
Here's the deal: it will cost a trillion dollars, but that will be in three easy payments of $330 billion
a month, so it's not that bad.
From "The Late Show with David
Letterman," June 24,
2009:
President Obama, this guy takes everything seriously. He's very upset about what's going on in
Iran. As a matter of fact, today he announced that he's going to stop smoking
Camels.
From "The Late Show with David Letterman," June 22, 2009:
President Barack Obama’s approval rating of 61%, which I thought was staggeringly high, has now
dropped to 56%. So don’t kid yourselves. Hillary could still win this
thing.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," April 2, 2009:
So they gave the Queen an iPod. I remember when British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was here, the
Obamas gave him a DVD box set. So, it looks like they're saving the big gift, the Nintendo, for the
Pope.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 27,
2009:
President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax code. He’s concerned there are
too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the system to avoid paying taxes. And that’s just
in his administration.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 20,
2009:
People think it's amazing that the President would take time to leave Washington, D.C., and
fly 3,000 miles to come to California. But that happens to a lot of guys when their mother-in-law
moves in with them.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 6,
2009:
President Obama got some good news today. It seems so many of his cabinet appointees have
been forced to pay their back taxes, he now gets a finder's fee from the
IRS.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," March 2, 2009:
The Obamas are expecting the arrival of the First Dog in April. Actually, it's Obama's second
choice of a dog. The first dog, he had some tax problems.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay
Leno," February 9, 2009:
President Obama took his first foreign trip as president today up to Canada. He met with
the prime minister to discuss one of the greatest threats facing our nation today — Canadian
geese.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," January 21,
2009:
Barack Obama said his first move as President will be to pardon Aretha Franklin's
hat.
From "The Late Show with David Letterman,"
December 17, 2008:
I like this time of year. Everybody looks forward to Time magazine naming its
"Person of the Year," and today they named Barack Obama "Person of the Year." ... Finally, things are
starting to go his way!
From Amy Poehler on
"Saturday Night Live," December 13, 2008:
Prosecutors said Tuesday that there is no evidence that Barack Obama was involved in
the Blagojevich scandal. Or, as Fox News reported it, "Is Barack Obama involved in the Blagojevich
scandal?"
From "The Late Show with David Letterman," December 8,
2008:
He's come up with a great initiative to create two and a half million jobs for America
... it's a wonderful plan, the catch is we all have to move to
China.
Stephen Colbert, "The Colbert Report",
December 3, 2008:
Tonight: the media reacts to Obama’s cabinet picks.
There’s a debate over whether to shower him with praise — or
adulation.
Bob Odenkirk, co-creator of HBO's "The
Show":
Now I want him to reconfigure his goals so they're manageable. I want him to say, "We
have to get rid of poison ivy and phone calls at dinner." You know, things that are
doable.
Jimmy Kimmel asking
people in a predominantly black barbershop what types of jokes he can make about Obama, November 23,
2008:
What if I make jokes about him putting rims on Air Force One? ... Can I make jokes
about him appointing Dr. Dre as Surgeon
General?
From Craig Ferguson on
"The Late Late Show", November 18, 2008:
Everyone is waiting to see what Barack Obama has planned. We already know his economic
plan. It's designed to help small businesses that make under $250,000 a year. You know, like General
Motors and
Chrysler.
From "The Late Show with David Letterman", November 18,
2008:
It's an exciting time in Washington, Barack Obama is putting his team together to take
over the Administration. And so far, he’s got his mother-in-law gonna be living with him, and he's
talking about Hillary for Secretary of State. So you got your mother-in-law, you got Hillary Clinton
— boy, sounds like smooth sailing to me!
From "Late Night with Conan
O'Brien":
Oprah Winfrey has said she will not accept the role of an ambassador to a foreign
country if it were offered to her by Barack Obama. On the other hand, Obama did announce that his new
Surgeon General is Dr.
Phil.
From "Late Night with Conan
O'Brien":
Some political analysts are saying the 1980's sitcom "The Cosby Show" helped Obama get
elected because it portrayed a black family in a positive light. They also say Obama would have been
elected 10 years ago if it weren't for Flavor
Flav.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," November 12,
2008:
When they move into the White House, Barack Obama is gonna be getting a dog for his
daughters. And he was very clear, he was very strict — he said, "You're gonna have to feed it, you're
gonna have to give it water, and you're gonna have to clean up after it, do you understand that?" And
Joe Biden said, "Yeah
...."
From "The Late Show with David Letterman," November 6, 2008:
Ladies and gentlemen, Barack Obama is our new president. And I think I speak for
most Americans when I say, "Anybody mind if he starts a little
early?"
From
"Late Night with Conan O'Brien," October 27,
2008:
The other day, a guy who played a game of basketball against Barack Obama said that
Obama spent the whole game "trash talking." He also said Obama's trash-talking is eloquent,
high-minded and
inspirational.
From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," November 12,
2008:
Obama now says he is open to offshore oil drilling. Apparently, when he promised
change, he was talking about his mind.
Comedian Aisha Tyler, as quoted in The China
Post, July 20,
2008:
He has the build of an ex-high school javelin thrower. He's the
guy on the track team who only does that one event, and he weighs the same as the
javelin.
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